wierdist frame job?

Susan May

PFG, Picture Framing God
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May 28, 2000
Posts
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moved to Clermont, Florida
I one time had a customer ask me to frame a baseball hat that her husbands friend used to wear fishing.... it still smelled like fish and sweat!
What are some of the wierdist things you have been asked to frame?


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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
That sounds about as hard to frame as my customers' dead grandmothers' long ponytail.
Yuk! But with the ribbon and the babys' breath all around, it was quite beautiful when finished.
 
While not at our shop, one of our framers claimed to have framed men's underwear at another shop he worked.

We have oftened wondered where one draws the line on what is objectionable to frame in terms of respect for the staff doing the framing. I heard about project at another shop where two frames each with a double mat and 35 multiple openings where cut to frame pornographic pictures. Every once in while we get a call from a man who wants to know if we will frame nude photos of his wife in provocative poses. He never comes in I think he just wants to see our reaction. We have had a couple of projects from people living alternative lifestyles but nothing explicit.

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Timberwoman
AL
I cut the mat, I pet the =^..^= cat.
 
We've framed some weird stuff, but nothing too smelly or distasteful. Does weird have to be objectionable?

How about an airplane propeller? The frame was about 30" x 8 feet. Background was snapshots and silk maps of Europe from WWII.

We once framed the hip bone from a bison's skeleton. We still don't know why the customer wanted it framed.

A bicycle parts factory burned down, and the owner brought us a seat post to frame. It was aluminum -- partially melted and quite ruined -- but he said it was the original prototype for their original product & had big sentimental value.



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Jim Miller, CPFcm; GAFP Committee Member
 
OK! get this. This really happen. An 80 year old man can in with a toilet seat and wanted an ovel frame mounted under it so it would be raised up about 2 inches. I sent him to a handyman I knew and he took care of him.

The reason he wanted this done was his testicles would hang in the water.
 
The strangest thing that I have framed was a clay fish made by a 7 year old for his dad. It was thick on both sides and hard to mount. So we threaded wire through the mat board and around the fish head and tail. It worked and the look on that kids face was priceless.

My framing buddy probably had the worst frame job. She actually framed an outer piece of a barn. It was about 6 feet tall and 4 feet wide. Someone had actually done an oil painting on it and wanted it framed. My friend said she was going to put up a sign that said "Bring all the weird complicated projects to me".
 
We framed a record that was played at an outside wedding reception. The record was warped, melted by the sun.
We have also mounted a Peacock feather fan.
We built a 8" wide, 3" thick, fabric covered "mat" to go around a Indian wood carving. The carving was 2 1/2" thick, 9 3/4"-10 1/4" tall, by 56" long. The lady's 5' tall parents brought it with them as carry on luggage on a plane from India.

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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
I think framer wins this round of competition....and the Miss Congeniality award for prying that bit of information from his customer.
 
A divers regulator, complete with black hose and mouthpiece.

It was an antique ( circa 1965 ) where the regulator was on the back and HUGE, about 8" in diameter. It belonged to his father and the customer was opening a dive shop.

We also put a round bottom green glass bottle ( circa early 1800's ) in the centre of the oval formed by the rubber tubes. It was the first thing his dad recovered from the bottom of the St. Lawrence River.

Hanging in a retail location It has brought us lots of referals.

Chris

"Wal-mart....the Ferengi of our times"
 
I once framed two spears that probably had poison tips. I also framed a 6 ft. rattlesnake skin. I have not framed anything objectionable, but then I not sure what that is yet.
 
We once framed an authentic loincloth from Papua New Guinea.

Needless to say it was done in our famous Minnesota summer,with high humidity. We had to wear a mask to work with it.

There is no explaining some peoples taste!!!

Accent
 
Have framed an ENTIRE set of baby teeth for a customer who just received her degree in dental hygeine.

Back in the early 80's I framed a piece of the Alaska pipeline. The guy had worked up there as a welder and had cut out the shape of Alaska (about 6" across) with his torch.



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"I haven't been to Michigan since the last time I was there." -Dan Quayle
 
I was talking to a friend of mine, who used to frame with me, and she reminded me of a few.
We had a Victorian stitchery that was stitched with HUMAN HAIR!
Then there was the 9 cross stitches that had cat hair, and pee in them. The customer refused to wash them because she was afraid of the colors bleeding! (Like all the yellow stains weren't bad enough.)
There was the cross stitch that was stitched so tight that to get the fabric to lay flat there were 1/8" holes in the fabric. (This cross-stitch was done by an exemployee.)

Shall I go on?

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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
Our strangest pair: A fellow came in with a 130 year old lace Christening Gown in one hand and a hand grenade in the other. We framed both in high end designs and he was thrilled. Unfortunately his house recently burnt down and all was lost.
 
One of my customers had her baby delivered at home with a midwife. I framed the umbilical cord which had been dried in the shape of a heart. Something interesting to hang on one's wall.
 
I guess I should add this - I received it already glued onto a backing. I only had to actually handle the posterboard it was glued on. (much to my relief!)
 
About ten years ago, I was brought about fifteen "hits" of "Blotter Acid" dating from the mid to late '60s. The customer wanted them framed individually in 16 X 20 frames in 8-ply mats (the openings were 1/4" square). It was explained to me that 1) these were "live hits" and should be handled with latex gloves and 2) that they were to be used for an exhibition called "The Acid Show" at a local NYC Gallery. These "Hits" all had cartoon characters on them. I managed to do the job without either tripping or overcutting these mats, but I fear my sanity may have been damaged from trying to do this!

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Seth J. Bogdanove, CPF
 
Excuse me for being square, perfect for a framer, but just being in possession of that is illegal is it not?

Bring the HAMMER DOWN!!!!
 
A painting painted in human blood (actually the clients, and it was a family portrait)
A painting done in animal blood, same artist, of a cow, in cow.
A pair of underpants crocheted out of rubber bands.
A section of broken (old) ¼ inch plate glass, with BB holes thru it.
A pair of pants from the holocaust.
The boots of the youngest Dalton, pulled of the dead body after the last robbery, and accompanying newspapers.
A painting by John Wayne Gacy.
A section of Torah Scroll.
I'm sure I'll remember more in a bit.
 
WOW!!!!


I think I'm speachless! Were lucky to be in such a interesting busness.

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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by framer:
Excuse me for being square, perfect for a framer, but just being in possession of that is illegal is it not?

Bring the HAMMER DOWN!!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I think there's a statute of limitations, plus, framing these converts them into Objets de Arte, at least that's my story!


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Seth J. Bogdanove, CPF
21 years framing and still loving it
 
Marc

Does your location have anything to do with those wierd framing jobs?
smile.gif
 
I had someone ask me if I could frame a CHALK BOARD that was on the school wall. They had it removed after President Clinton came to visit the school and signed the board. We ended up not doing the job because PPFA could'nt help us find a was, with out spraying a sealer, to keep the chalk from putting a goast immage on the glazing. (The cusomer wanted plexie for it's strength.) I told them to contact the White House and get a signed picture to hang in their front hall.

What hurts is after I did all the leg work for them, when they got the new picture, with signiture, they took it to another framer. You may ask how I know??? One of the students was a customer of ours, and told me that the picture was framed with paper mats!


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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
Our interesting jobs have been many and varied over the past 22 years. "Yuck" items would include a dead squirrel pelt, complete with teenage hunter's photo, hunting license, and original shell casing; and a pheasant tail (which we affectionately called the "bird butt")- we had to remove encrusted salt used as preservative before framing.
We have also framed historical memorabilia such as presidential-signed items, and a chunk of the Berlin Wall.
Number one most unusual item: a Beatles album cover ("Yesterday and Today" album) signed by all four Beatles, PLUS Brian Epstein, PLUS their original drummer, Pete Best! (This last signature had been obtained later at a book-signing event.) This is probably the only item on the planet signed by all of these people!
Have fun, and keep on framin' ! ---Rick
 
I also did an umbilical cord. Yuck. I turned down the snake skin, but I did frame my fathers rattle snake rattler collection. All 40 of em.
 
About seven years ago, the art gallery I work for purchased via auction, a real human shrunken head. I believe it was from South America, and at least 30 to forty years old (I remember something mentioned about them being illegal to purchase after a certain dat). It was very creepy. They (and one can only speculate who they are)remove the skull before drying, so you are left with a tiny head (with a leather-like feel) that would fit in your palm. It had a large shock of dark hair on its head. While I was deliberating whether to simply mount this on a pedestal or shadow -box it (and what would be the best way to preserve it - mink oil?
smile.gif
), a customer who is a doctor bought it like it was. I think he paid around $2000 for it! Makes you wonder how much a mummy would cost!
 
Marc Lzier, I once read that Jack Kevorkian paints pictures with blood. Was that your client, and how's your grandmother
wink.gif
?

PegLeg
 
OK. Now I think I am creeped out!


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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
Susan May
Do you remember the twig from a Crown of Thorns Bush that the customer brought back from Israel? Mom

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LBFOOTE
 
I remember it now! Though I did forget it for a while. The thorns were about 1/2 - 1" long and there was a picture of the man in front of the bush.

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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
WHAT!? No interesting jobs? Come on, we have strange things come in everyday! Share!

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Sue May :)
"Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest can over come it!"
 
Customer just framed up a Schwin Bicycle tire. No rim. No tube. Just a tire. A smaller one, like off of an Orange Krate or Stingray with a Banana Seat. It was not valuable. It did not have any sentimental value. She just saw it in thrift shop/antique shop and thought it would be nice to get framed (with some Schwin Decals that she got too.).

Shadow Box frame, Fabric Float with Fabric Shadow Box Sides. All for a nice pile coin.

She's a framing junkie/framing addict.
 
A Framing Addict/ Junkie? Tell me Marc, was the first frame free?
OK Suemay, how about modifying the outside spilt rim off of a '92 Porsche Carerra cabriolet to hold a photo of that car. The rim was ruined when the owner's somewhat tipsy girlfriend fishtailed in downtown St. Augustine scraping the rim against the curb.(they were coming back from speedweek in Daytona).
Got rid of the girl/ kept the car. Had one *real* expensive photo frame.
 
I am in the process of framing a catheter used for chemo on a cancer patient. There is still some scar tissue attached.
 
OK-OK... this, if you will look at the top of the page, is "WIERDIST FRAME JOB", not try to gross out Sue Frame Jobs!

Honestly, Poo? How do you make that look attractive? No, Wait!! Don't tell me, if I don't know, it might not plague my dreams.
smile.gif


Acctually, it is nice to see some new additions to the list. Now when someone comes in and says "I guess this will be a new one for you, we can tell them that someone has already framed Elephant Poo." (Been there-done that!)

Sue
 
I am going to frame the rock I just paid $225.00 to have removed from my frogs stomach! Euch!
 
It seems that the tonnage of dark chocolate The Goddess has consumed this past week has served to stir some delightful old framing memories! Tell her if you agree!
Imagine this:
A woman (unclothed from the waist down) sits in ketchup, gets up, and then sits momentarily and delicately on an appropriately sized piece of rag paper. She lets it dry. And then brings it to me, the framer. It was, at first glance, an interesting piece of abstract-y kid's type art...until she gave me the above details. Was it perhaps a gift for someone close to her? The Goddess can't quite recall.
It was her assertion that this was "all the rage" in certain unspecified circles.
Thanks for resurrecting this thread, Marc!
 
Whoa, Edie! Did you actually frame that? I must admit that the idea of framing that totally grosses me out!

I'm racking my brain for a really wierd job I've done. Guess I've got lots of new mental memories to add after this Christmas season's business.
 
Oh Goddess:
Can I get fries with that?

As a coda to the bike tire (tyre for all youse EU folks) the customer did come in to pick it up.

She paid for it, and then GAVE it to us. She said when she saw it ( in the junk store), she thought of us. She wanted to frame it for us. Since she did not want to go to another framer, she had us do it. Then gave it to us.

We are still unsure of exactly why. But it does hang on the wall. It looks cool, but there is just no reason to frame this bike tire. Yet, there it is.
 
I've got another.
It's not so much wierd as just big.

A large company wants to frame a large map for thier "war room" Of course they want to be able to put pins in it again and again.

The map is 7 x 13. FEET not inches!


We contact cement cork to 4 x 8 sheets of F/C. We make three.

We put the map in three sections. One on each sheet of f/c/Cork. We used contact cement to stick the laminated map down.

OnSite, we seam the pieces together with more f/c and a whole heckofa lot of SuperSticky ATG.

Then a metal frame to finish it off.

They ALSO wanted three 6 x 8 (feet) fabric covered cork board.

That takes ALOT of fabric, and a TON of cork.

I figured cost, and a price.

Then I figured the PITB factor. And added.

And added.

And added.

I came to a price I thought was excessivly high enough to make them not want to do the job.

They responded by asking if it could be in by the weekend.

So I added rush charges.

After it was done they were so pleased they said they would tell the other divisions to come to us.

Great. I'll raise the price even higher.
 
A stainless steel bolt that was so corroded
that its center was almost gone. It had come
from the cooling system in a nuclear reactor
and was the exhibit that had won a law suit.
(The client promised it was not radioactive.)

Hugh
 
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