What won't you frame?

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JRB

JRB

PFG, Picture Framing God
Founding Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2000
Posts
7,107
Loc
San Diego, CA
I got this idea from Annel on another thread.
People bring all sorts of things in to be framed, what things do you decline to work on? I will not work on Nazi memorabilia, just plain don't want those bad vibes in my store, and I am not a Jew.

John
 
Most items I turn down are due to people wanting improper mounting methods/materials used just to save a buck. (Did decline framing a mug which belonged to Hitler)

I also get a wide variety of odd requests. I had a customer get upset that I would not make a cross and laminate a prayer on it for him. I refered him to a friend with a woodworking shop and he stomped out.

Or the iron fireplace insert someone wanted a mirror put in.

Or the needleart piece and bench someone brought in for me to "upholster".

Yesterday it was hanging tins...wanted styrofoam glued to the back of these so the styrofoam could be taped to the wall.
 
We once made a display case for a silver embellished human skull from Tibet.
We did how ever ask the client to hold on to the skull for insurance purposes. We really just didn't whant this thing in our shop.

I can't think of anything that we have turend down out of distaste.

I have framed everyting from OSU
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astro-turf to original Renoir's, Pissaro's and Lichtenstein's

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Diver Dave
 
I would perform a kidney transplant before I would frame another latch hook rug. I once turned down an "opportunity" to frame a partially mummified cat that someone had found on the side of the road, though I did build a frame for him. I just wouldn't let him leave the cat in my shop. After losing about 30% of a finger 21 years ago, I won't accept jobs which involve an obvious risk to the remaining digits.

I'm often amazed, not at the objects people want me to frame, but at the non-framing chores they imagine I'd love to do just because I have a variety of tools and wood glue. When I see someone walk through my door with a broken chair, I know I'm in for a treat!
 
There hasn't been a job that's come across my table yet that I've refused. I HAVE been presented with one or two doozies, the one that leaps to mind was a collection of photos of dead family members in their respective caskets. They had to be done in a multiple opening mat with fillets. The framing was a fun job, but that subject matter gave me the willies!


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Seth J. Bogdanove, CPF
22 years framing and still loving it!
As usual, the website is www.masterclamp.com
 
So far the only thing I've refused to frame was a collection of dead turkey parts. I'd have done it if the bits and pieces had been cured - but some of them were still bleeding.
I did build a shadow box for the customer so he could frame them himself,

That was years ago - wonder what it smells like now?

Kit

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Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
 
Diver Dave, think about it. A giant, cranky looking guy comes into your shop holding an ice cream bar wrapped in dry ice. He explains to you that this ice cream bar means the world to him, it is hand signed by Bozo The Clown. He would like you to frame it so it would not melt, he also has a space problem and he hates the sound of freezer compressors or running motors.

Where is Orton when we need him?

John
 
A few months ago someone brought in a very large Civil War flag. It was about 6' x 8', with quite a few tears, and even a couple of bullet holes. I had to refer them to a nearby high quality frameshop. I just didn't feel I had the facilities or expertise to do something that big and as a one man shop, it would be way too much to handle alone.

Also, recently I cut mats to help out another framer friend. She had about 15 watercolors for an artist. As I was looking through them to measure them, they were all sort of impressionist nudes. Most were fine, but 2 of them went over the line to what I would consider pornography. Since I was only cutting the mats and not even keeping the artwork in my shop, I let it go, however if I had to have it in my shop and frame it, I would have turned those two down. Maybe I should have anyway....
 
A picture of Osama bin Laden. That is unless it has crosshairs on his mug.
 
What about sexually explicit material? Would you look at the customer funny? Would you have any fears?

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Timberwoman
AL
I cut the mat, I pet the =^..^= cat.

[This message has been edited by ArtLady (edited September 24, 2001).]
 
That ice cream bar. I would either have it freeze dried and then frame it. or asuming the wrapper was the item that had been autographed I would unwrap it and wrap up a piece of styrofoam or a sealed block of wood of the correct size and shape and frame what appears to be an ice cream bar.
 
Sheesh, I've never had anyone want to frame an ice cream bar.

As far as the question on sexually explicit, I've framed quite a few nudes. I personally am a fan of Klimt, Beardsley and Egon Schiele, so I can't really disagree with sexually explicit art, now can I?

The only time I've refused to frame anything is when someone wants to frame way too large of a picture in way too small of a frame...My belief, if you have to secure the corners with brackets, or strap the back... the frame's too small.

I also refuse to do work in other peoples frames if I feel the frame is too old and the joints are way too shoddy... But that's about it.

Good day!
Egon
 
We once framed a famous stripper's nude portfolio - about a dozen high-quality nude photos that she brought to us to have put in a large multi-opening mat & frame.

The male employee who was designing the framing package with her - - I've never seen him sweat so much in my life.
 
OK folks, the ice cream was tongue in cheek, it was meant as a ridicules example, it would melt. Bozo the Clown, come on, that had to be the giveaway.

I've framed a lot of sexually explicit photos over the years, mostly back in the late 60s & early 70s. People are a lot more conservative now.

I had a woman about five years ago come into my shop with a new baby in her arms. While we were working on her frame design she decided to breast feed her infant. This woman loved shock value I think, she was not the least bit discreet, she pulled out her entire breast and presented it to the baby. I had a tough time acting like this was a normal occurrence in a retail store. Trying to concentrate on a frame design was not easy, what with this loud sucking, slurping, gurgling racket going on. I did get through it though, I got the sale and outside my red face I don't think I gave her the satisfaction of acting shocked. That story is true and it actually happened to me.

John
 
How about a dead hummingbird. (Found in the back yard... rotting.)

A fishermans' hat that still smelled like sweat and dead fish?

A Cross-stitch that had cat hairs in it, and cat pee on it. The customer refused to wash it, and I refused to touch it.

Let me think for a while, I might come up with more.
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The only items I seem to be refusing are those I determine to be more trouble than they are worth, mostly repairs.
 
I framed some antique Japanese woodblock prints that were diagrams of....well, an instruction manual of...how to. They were so well done...real art, I was able to overlook the subject matter. About the same time a young enlisted man in the navy, brought in some drawings he had done on his last cruise. Pencil drawings from photos in a porn book...suggested he might want to try framing them himself with ready-mades.
The subject matter was not all that different in the two presentations. One just seemed to transcend the subject matter. I dunno, a fine line between nude and nekkid.
 
Small frames on big pictures, work with an undoable turn-around time, an ant-farm. Thats about all for the framing side. The photolab is often getting pornographic material, unfortunatly children are often involved.
 
Lance, child pornography? How do you handle that, do you call the cops & report it, as you should, or do you just decline it?

John
 
John:
Got a HUGE laugh from your "ice cream bar hand-signed by Bozo the Clown". The fact that people offered real framing tips for this just shows how anxious we Grumblers are to "help" one another.

;) Rick
 
We will not frame anything that is still alive, period. Anything else, I would give it a shot. I would preserve rotting things as much as possible and charge dearly for it.(We don't put our sticker on things like this.)

As for me, I would not frame pornography. Nudes are different, I would do those, but not pornograhpy.
 
What did I say? Anyway, I wouldn't frame anything alive or that had once been alive, except feathers, especially if there are body parts still attached (see a taxidermist, they can help you!) Also would avoid any smelly, unwashed articles of clothing (see the dry cleaner first, please.)
 
I've left instructions with my staff, that when I go, they are to have me freeze dried and put me in a large shadow box (Cherry with U.V. Plexi). A golf club in one hand and a cocktail in the other. Golf hat, shirt and Bermuda length shorts AND socks! (I have very cute knees!) The front should hinge open so they can freshen my drink from time-to-time.
So I guess if the customer can drag it in here, we'll frame it!
This is true (my instructions). I think they're actually looking forward to the project. Just the other day they asked me how tall I am.....
 
I'm happy to frame two-dimensional art and delighted to frame most three-dimensional objects (since those jobs tend to be pricey.) But I draw the line at projects that occupy four or more dimensions. They frequently disappear right before your eyes, their dimensions fluctuate constantly and sometimes they emit a low-frequency hum which is very annoying. Worst of all, the C-P standards change in the middle of the job, and you have to start all over with new materials. Arrrrggghhh!!!

Anybody else have a problem with these? I'd love to have somebody I can refer these customers to.

P.S. I would frame Curly, as long as he's properly embalmed (a couple of cocktails should take care of that) to prevent outgassing and he's not more than about 7'6". My work benches are 8' and I have to have a little room at the edges. At least he wouldn't move around much.

I have a sign at my parking spot behind the building that says, "Parking for The Total Picture only. Violators will be framed." When the time comes, instruct your employees to prop you up in my parking space and I'll make a nice display box out of OP-3 Acrylite. You'll never fade!!
 
P.S. I would frame Curly, as long as he's properly embalmed (a couple of cocktails should take care of that) to prevent outgassing and he's not more than about 7'6". My work benches are 8' and I have to have a little room at the edges. At least he wouldn't move around much.
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Well, this will take a bit of planning. To ensure the best possible embalming, or freeze drying, the body should be preserved before it is totally dead, which is to say before all cellular activity has stopped. So you'll need to have everything and be prepared to start work as soon as Curly passes. Otherwise bacteria in the intestinal tract which had been held in check during life will multiple very rapidly and begin to cause putrifaction. The lining of the stomach also gives way and the contents, including stomach acid, will leak out. Zeolites won't help much. You also have to watch out for flies. They love to lay eggs on bodies, and will do so before it's even assumed room temperature. If that happens and they hatch, you've got big problems on your hands.

As for offgassing, that's a big problem too. As the body decays, methane gas is produced, causing the body to swell to 2 or 3 times its original size. If you're not careful, a small leak could lead to a nasty explosion.

Despite what many people think, embalming is not meant to preserve the body forever, or even for a few years. Its only purpose is to preserve the body for a few days to accomodate viewing and the funeral. By the way, despite the assertions of many undertakers, excuse me, funeral directors, no, make that grief therapists, there are no laws requiring the corpse, excuse me, the departed, to be embalmed.

Now, the embalming solutions used are fairly weak, so as to not discolor the body or cause it to become leathery, but it doesn't last very long. If the body were to be preserved for a longer period, stronger embalming fluids would have to be used, but the results wouldn't be too pretty. Even then, the body will be covered with unsightly mold pretty quickly. If you seal up the coffin or frame airtight, it makes matters worse, as anaerobic bacteria will flourish, and the cause the body to putrify even more quickly.

Why not just cremate Curly and frame the cremains, along with a nice picture of the dearly departed? It would make a lovely memory picture.
 
MiterMan

I think you've added a new dimension to the term "Frankenthread."

So, Curly, you need to die sometime during regular business hours: Mondays by appointment, Tues-Fri 10-5 or Saturdays 10-2. You'll need to move closer to Appleton or find a reliable framer in New Jersey (talk about a tough job!) Also, if you can give me just a little advanced notice, I'll try to set aside a time slot for you.

Between Thanksgiving and New Years, you're on your own.
 
Originally posted by MiterMan:
Why not just cremate Curly and frame the cremains, along with a nice picture of the dearly departed? It would make a lovely memory picture.
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Nice Picture? Never taken one. My best pictures make Ron's driver's license photo look like Rock Hudson. As far as MiterMan's rather, uhhum, descriptive verse on what happens shortly after death, none of that is an issue with freeze drying as I understand it. Of course I do occaisionally have mold growing on me now, but when I've been thouroughly dried I don't think even that will be an issue.
BTW. Thanks to all for offering their services upon my demise, but as I said, my staff has strict instructions on what to do. Thanks anyway.
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Curly,

I'm sure MiterMan meant a picture of somebody else.

I just figured your staff would be so busy partying that you might need someone else to do the actual framing. I've framed lots of golf clubs. How hard could it be to add the golfer?

Keep it in mind. It's a standing offer. I know you'd do the same for me.

(I'm due for a new driver's license this New Year's Eve. I'll be sure and post the new photo.)
 
Originally posted by MiterMan:
Why not just cremate Curly and frame the cremains, along with a nice picture of the dearly departed? It would make a lovely memory picture.[/QB]
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Nope Ron, He meant me "the dearly departed". Oh wait, maybe he means a picture of my wife AFTER she gets the insurance check and "departs" for the islands.
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images
 
Now back to our regularly scheduled offensive-to-frame thread.
A few years back we framed a series of drawings for a very talented local artist with a very loose sense of what is beautiful. She had gained access to a medical school lab, where she sat in on learning autopsies for anatomy classes. She drew during these "labs." Some of her drawings were very abstract and just looked like an organized mess of colors, but then in the next, you would see an arm stretched out and you realized that that that "mess" was entrails, organs, nerves and muscle tissue. The next series were charcoals of a tightly cropped view of skin peeled back from a skull. Yet, still abstracted. It was unnerving. I had absolutely no qualms about framing them because of subject matter, but it stirred lively debate about the ethics involved. It seemed disrespectful to view these drawings of folks who had left their bodies to science (not art,) let alone displaying these for the sole purpose of selling them.

What I would refuse to frame:
It's just plain bad business to touch anything that would get you into trouble. Like anything illegal, such as child pornography or snuff pics. Or skulls or endangered animals.Stuff like that.

Well, hmmmmmmmm, then what about drawings of child pornography?

-edie the fg
 
You guys are going to think I am a card carrying PETA member(which wouldn't be a bad thing). In one of the shops I ran I had gone away for a weekend and I was checking orders for sizes when I came back. I came across the most gruesome pictures of this man who had been hunting, he was posing with his kill. There was a lion, a zebra and others. I was throughly disgusted and assumed they were from a safari. It never occurred to me that you can't kill lions and zebras, even in Africa. At first I thought the animals weren't real but then I saw the blood trickling out of the lions mouth. I asked the person who took the order if she knew. It turned out they were pictures this "person" had taken on one of those canned hunts in California. It is where all the good little circus and zoo animals are sent after they have given their lives for us to point and stare and laugh at them. After they have been in cages their whole lives for our viewing pleasure. After they have been beaten to submission so they can balance on some stupid chair and we can laugh at them. Once they are old and useless they are bought so that people can "hunt" them down and kill them. Now this mans **** eating grin brought on a whole new meaning. I absolutely refused to frame them. I wouldn't touch them. They had some complicated mats on them and I was the only one at the time who could cut them. I told the second in command to take care of them since we had accepted money for them we were obligated to frame them. But boy, I tell you if I had been there when they had brought them in...........that's the only thing I have ever refused to frame.

I'm not done venting...what kind of gutless spineless coward chases around defenseless old animals and then shoots them and then poses with them and then pays to have them framed?

Sorry....this happened years ago, that kind of image just never goes away. I actually saw a report Tom Brokaw did on these canned hunts. I should have known better than to have watched.
 
Kathy, you're my kind of woman. I only wish I had been there. One of the greatest gifts of getting older is that you can actually follow through on some of your moral outrages. I only hope I have the opportunity to meet someone like him someday: my vocabulary would be clean but that's all........

I'll probably offend some hunters, but how can anyone enjoy killing an animal for sport? H@ll, I'm questioning meateating at this stage of my life. (That could open a whole new thread on another board!)
 
Originally posted by RonEggers:
After losing about 30% of a finger 21 years ago, I won't accept jobs which involve an obvious risk to the remaining digits.

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Ron, I just HAVE to ask this question.

(put down any sharp objects that you may be holding, please.)

Would this imply that you could have an alter login name??

................................... Say, something like "Lessapartialdigit?? :D

FGII
 
Miter Man,
Just read your post! I think I need to be hospitalized! I haven't laughed so hard in years!!

Kathy, you were wrong in only one aspect of your post on 'canned' hunts. From what I saw, the brave, intrepid hunters don't have to CHASE the animals; the 'hosts' tie them up, and the hunter just walks up and plugs them. I'd stand in line to shoot the so-called hunters, myself.
I'm not ready to join PETA. We have deer and foxes and squirrels that literally starve, due to over-population, or die from some rampant disease that sweeps through the whole bunch. Rabies is a good example. I used to hunt, being a farm boy, but we ate what I shot. I gave it up about '75. Just didn't have it in me anymore.
 
Charles, You are so right. The Tom Brokaw report showed a video tape, shot by the people who were on the hunt, for posterity no doubt. It was a beautiful black panther he was completely declawed. They had to prod him out of the cage, he was so scared he was just looking for cover. These guys were laughing. It was grotesque, I'm sure their mothers were proud.

Didn't mean to get this thread off track, what was I thinking, it was already way off track.
 
Kathy,
I saw the SAME video! What a buncha mighty hunters! Would gleefully shoot them, as I said. Buncha b@st@rds!!! Poor panther! He was scared, as you said. Didn't deserve his fate. If he was over-the-hill, or sick, he shoulda been 'put down'.
Don't get me started!

Real hunting is matching wits with real, no bull, wild animals. Meet then on THEIR terms, not tied to a d@mn post! GRRRRRRR!!!
 
I don't want to Frankenthread any more than I have to...but what exactly are you guys defining as "pornography?"

For myself, in my Imaginary Shop, I would pretty much frame anything that was legal. If someone wanted me to frame something illegal, I think it would be rather entertaining to take their order and then call the cops on them.

If someone did bring you something illegal, what would your response be?
 
Kathy,
Read Carl Hiassen's "Sick Puppy", it describes one of these so called hunt clubs and characters that hunt there. Think you will enjoy what happens to the mighty white hunters.
 
Guess I won't see some of you in Barnes and Noble, Latte in hand, buying Ted Nugent's new cookbook "Kill it and Grill it" ;)
 
I am surprised that nobody has mentioned this one but then again maybe I just have some crooks as customers.

We refuse to frame illegally reproduced artwork. I am talking about photo copies of limited editions, photos of limited editions, ect.

About 3 years agao we had someone come in with a 40 x 60 digital copy of a Jesse Barnes (don't remember which one) that was an older sold out edition. We ended up keeping it in the store for a day then reurned it to the customer saying that we would not frame it since it was an illegal reproduction.

Why did we keep it for a day? We had to make sure to get the name and address of the customer and mainly because the person who did this had his name and address on the box. I am sure that Jesse was happy to get the info
 
OK, I will add " Great White Hunters" to my small list of things I would refuse to frame. I spend at least three thousand a year, rescuing animals, mostly for Veterinary care and food.

Reading about those " hunting ranches" made me sick. I know I could not watch a vidio of it. I was given a lot of training on how to dispatch people, thank God I never had to actually do it. The idea of killing or torturing old defensless animals is, to me, about the most lowest thing a human being can do. We are supposed to be the smart ones. Wish I hadn't read this thread.

John
 
JRB, Sorry, didn't mean to upset anybody. I have to say it has been years since I saw those pictures, and writing about it further incensed me. Obviously you are a caring person, if you tend to stray animals. My sister sounds just like you. She always has a stray something or another she is looking for a home for. That is how I inherited my fat cat Emily pictured in my signature. Knowing these canned hunt camps exist is so heartbreaking. That is why I don't like zoos and circuses. I do understand that zoos actually help keep species going but some of them just aren't very dignified. Even as a child I couldn't stand to see the animals in the circus. Sorry, I'll shut up now......I'll just get started again.

Charles, if you saw that report you have to agree it was something that will never leave you. I wish to heck I had turned away.

Michael, I can't stand Ted Neugent, his ego is incredible, but I will say I do think he is a responsible hunter. He uses what he kills.

Debbie, I have "Sick Puppy" on reserve at the library. I'm anxious to read it.

My rant is now officially over!!!! :rolleyes:
 
Michael, I hunted, and shot, squirells, quail, doves, coons and even a possum once. Deer, too.

I cleaned and ate everything, everything I shot.

These canned hunts suck out load, though. If one ain't got the b@lls to meet game on their own terms, matching wits with them, then one needs to take up knitting.

Not being belligerent, just the way I feel.
 
Charles, I agree! Canned "hunts" are not hunting at all! They involve no skill what so ever. This kind of thing makes me so mad! :mad: Living in Wisconsin, I know many hunters. They are for the most part responsible people who would never dream of shooting animals under these conditions and who use what they kill.
 
I think JRB, as the originator of this thread, could change the title to, "What won't you shoot?"

Hey, I'm with you guys. Two mornings ago, I found two mice that had somehow gotten into my office wastebasket at home and couldn't get out. I drove them about five miles to release them into "the wild."

My only disappointment was that I couldn't remember the words to Born Free.

BTW, they were house mice, not meadow voles (field mice) so I hope they're doing okay in the field. I should've left them a few days-worth of food and water at least.
 
Doesn't the very word "hunting" imply looking for something. "What's that over there chained to that tree?!?!?!" Bang. Hardly sounds challenging. I choose not to hunt but I don't have as much of a problem with someone who shoots a deer and eats the meat. It is perhaps more honest than my trips to the grocery store to buy sterile packages of meat I don't have to associate with huge brown eyes.

And Ron, how does one tell a house mouse from a field mouse? I always thought that when there was a mouse in my house it was a field mouse that got cold and came in.

I can't think of anything I've ever refused to frame. No one has ever presented me with Nazi memorabilia or pornography. Would I refuse to frame them?

What about wiccan or satanic art?

If someone brought in something I perceived to be illegal - a "snuff photo" or eagle feathers do I have an obligation to turn the person in? Or is it enough to decline the job?

MitreMan, if you don't mind my asking, just where did you acquire your very specific embalming information? Is framing not your first career?
 
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