THE IMPLANTS ARE DONE!!!

[Framerguy]

Well, folks, it is the day of reckoning, the final hour, the tense moment just prior to the checkered flag dropping, it is "I" Day!!

I have toiled over this project from its very early conception and have taken all of the suggestions made by my friends here on the Grumble to heart. I was torn between "how to" and "how not to", Hugh suggests mounting them in tulle and hot glue, then Susan May says DON'T use tulle! Rebecca had me really pumped with her suggestion of an Ethafoam torso but I never did find out what the heck Ethafoam is!

And Meghan really hit the nail on the head with her suggestion of a "tasteful demi-cup bra with the implants spilling over the top as they were meant to do!!" Whew!! I STILL break out in a cold sweat just thinking about that one!! Obviously, I didn't even attempt to try Meghan's suggestion. It was great!! I am simply a weak individual who would have probably passed out part way through stuffing the demi-cup and the spilling out and all that! Further on I read about Meghan's Great Aunt Frances and that pretty well put the kabosh to any thoughts I had of this becoming a "work of art".

Mark wrapped his balls in tulle and they remained stiff in the shadowbox (that was the pool ball and rack shadowbox for those of you who may have forgotten). Well, stiff is not what I was shooting for. I wanted a natural hang, so to speak.

I was abruptly brought back to the real world of framing by Northframer when she mentioned the FACTS standards and coroplast. That was liken to a cold bucket of water being thrown on my head at 4 in the morning!!

The one suggestion that I did try to follow up on concerned the transparent bra. I paid a visit to the Lion's Den, Treasure Trove of Adult Toys and Clothing. But, when I told the big burly guy with the solid tattoos up and down his arms what I wanted to do, he stared at me for a long time. Then he looked at his buddy, the one with the missing front tooth and the greasy ponytail and they both just cracked up laughing. I left.

So here I am. At the destination of my quest to display over $3000 worth of polyvinyl and silicone in a tasteful yet explicit manner. I asked myself, "What would you like to do if you had these gems in your home??" My answer, "Sleep on them!!!" So I followed my instincts and came up with my version of what every implant worth its weight in twenty dollar bills should be displayed in.

I hope you enjoy the photo. I worked very hard with this and I am very sensitive to the thoughts and criticisms of my friends here on the Grumble.

So, TAAAA DAAAA!!
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http://members.papadocs.com/framer1/Grumble/implantsmicro.jpg

Gosh, I am so proud of this project I could just spit gold coins!!

So whadda ya think, G'ers??

Framerguy

[ 04-02-2003, 05:42 PM: Message edited by: Framerguy ]

[Curly Grumble]

The photo is so small. Is it an "A" cup?

[Emibub]

Originally posted by Framerguy:
So whadda ya think, G'ers?? What do I think? Thanks for asking Tom...........I think you somehow have possibly backed your car up near a opening in your shop and somehow the exhaust fumes are being piped into your store.....................Run!!!

[ 04-02-2003, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: emibub ]

[Emibub]

To continue on................I was interrupted by a customer.............I think you might be suffering from some sort of delusional type episode(again). The last time was ugly, if you remember I am the one who talked you down off the tower. So, go to your "quiet place". I have notified the proper authorities, help is on the way. Just remain calm, and nothing "Bad" has to happen..........................

[Jim Miller]

Framerguy:

Some projects make us reach a little higher than ever before, and inspire us to achieve new levels of creative genius. Congratulations.

That is absolutely the most beautiful, imaginative framing design I have ever seen. All of your research and hard work have paid off, big time.

You should be very proud. Have you considered publishing photos of that project in your advertising?

I bet the customer loved it too, didn't she? Have you heard from her lawyer yet?

[jvandy57]

Framerguy,

I must be getting old but 40 x 23 pixels is sorta small don't ya think. How about a bigger picture, as I would really like to get an eye full.

[Framerguy]

Aw Jerry, you're too danged picky! Size doesn't matter here, it's the quality of work that counts!!

Read Jim's post, it was very positive and uplifting, the kind of post that stimulates the framing juices in most people!

OK, you want bigger, you got bigger!
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http://members.papadocs.com/framer1/Grumble/implants2.jpg

I combined a primal urge to nurture and the need to enjoy certain comforts when in the prone position and came up with the Implant Pillow! I knitted myself ragged and spent many lonely hours late at night just knitting and fitting, knitting and fitting, until, at long last, my image became a reality!!

Here is another head-on shot of the implants seen 'round the world!

http://members.papadocs.com/framer1/Grumble/implants4.jpg

Of course you are probably saying to yourself, "Yeah, he can knit a pretty fair set of knockers but can he frame&nbsp them???"

Well, framing Mousketeers, prepare yourself for the creme de la creme of shadowbox framing! Again, serving a dual purpose, the shadowbox took many hours of careful planning and strategic placement of certain associated accessories so as to make the appearance of the "Implant Pillow" seem more natural when displayed within the shadowbox. The versatility of this shadobox is only equalled by the ease of removal of the pillow if and when the viewer takes a notion to become more closely associated with the artwork.

http://members.papadocs.com/framer1/Grumble/implantsframed2.jpg

Well, fellow framers, there you have it. I cannot, in all honesty, accept another challenge like this one. It is sort of like taking the first step on the lunar surface. Once your foot has left its mark where no man had stepped before, everything after that event is anti-climactic.

I can only bask in the warm glow of admiration that emanates from all who gaze upon these knitted orbs and wonder, mouths agape, why anybody would waste that much time to accomplish what Jerry can download off of a miriad of offcolor websites with a simple click of his mouse???

My, but it's lonely at the top. :D

Framerguy

[Emibub]

Tom, you are one sick puppy. :eek: :eek: Makes any of my escapades pale in comparison. I feel positively vindicated for any number of misbehaving episodes I may have subjected any of my fellow Grumblers to. I recommend you get more sleep.

By the way, being a woman, from my point of view, I think you got the "lift" all wrong. They are way too "pointy" in the laying down position. Of course that is from a 48 year old womans perspective. Maybe I would have thought differently in my 20's or 30's.

Kudos all way round for your little effort here. I know you languished for hours and days and weeks over this.................but please, get some sleep..........

[Curly Grumble]

Originally posted by emibub:
Tom, you are one sick puppy. :eek: :eekTom, don't you go listenin' to anyone else (especially a bitter 48 year old). You did just fine! I think you've discovered a fantastic add-on product that I know I'd be interested in, not only selling, but buying as well! And the workmanship is first rate! I can't say enough about your efforts! Congratulations on a great, uplifting job! :D

PS. How much and where do I send my money?

[EllenAtHowards]

..hate to be picky, but I think you "knit" those knobs with a crochet hook...

[Emibub]

Ellen, you took the words right out of my hands. It is a rare man who can tell the difference between knitting and crocheting........or the way boobs would "rest" naturally for that matter! tongue.gif

[Curly Grumble]

Originally posted by emibub:
tongue.gif[/img] Hey, just because I don't own a pair doesn't mean that I don't know everything about 'em! I happen to be the New Jersey Authority on them and whenever any of the major networks need a consultant, they call me!

[Emibub]

Clarify Curly: They call you and consult you on the diff between Knitting and Crocheting? Just checking.

[Curly Grumble]

You can't "own" a pair of knitting or crocheting, so you figure it out, Kathy.

[Framerguy]

Hey, you two!! You are tarnishing my moment of glory!!

Now knock off the bickering!

You are witnesses to the making of art and framing history and all you can do is nitpick each other.

Keep it up and I will sic Sue May on you both. And you know what THAT means --- off to your rooms with you.

Now you don't want that, do you??

Framerguy

[Emibub]

Pssst Tom, We aren't fighting........just discussing. I just thought it a bit odd that the whole freakin' state of NJ would use our Curly, the man in the ill fitting suit to be an authority on boobs. I'm thinking Curly probably overheard somebody say "I've got it on good authority that Curly is a boob", and he in his own dopey way misconstrued the words.........but we will let him think what he wants. tongue.gif

[ 04-02-2003, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: emibub ]

[Barb Pelton]

Now, girls! You know when someone is in the spin of a tale, details are subject to be altered to enhance the overall effect of the story. In other words-
nothin' rhymes with "crocheting".

Tom, I think it is a work of art! It almost looks just like a double scoop of salmon mousse creatively garnished with olives! tongue.gif
(why is it everything reminds me of food?...)

[Lois Bauby]

I personally think the job is wonderfully well done....but....needs an acrylic frame to cover the entire project to prevent damage from touching and so that it will stay clean from dust and dirty hands.

Lovely, just lovely

[MarkG1]

Hey Framerguy,

Is that a L.J. Eastlake frame? Those look great!!

My grandma who just turned 90 could have done them better justice with her handy work. But you did just fine.

They look great and I must say , I didn't expect any less from the Framerguy!!!

Great Job!

Mark

(You didn't call me to come over and feel, I mean, see them!)

[EllenAtHowards]

"nothin' rhymes with "crocheting".
Ricocheting, displaying, belaying, betraying,delaying(or if you wanna go 'country music'.. mating, trading, saying (one of my biigest gripes against country music is its use of not-pure rhymes...sigh)

"My grandma who just turned 90 could have done them better justice with her handy work"... but how about her boobs? ROTFLMBO

[Mike Labbe @ GTP]

Wow - very nice!

You should consider mass producing them. You'd probably make a million dollars on EBAY with such a novelty item. smile.gif

Mike

[CharlesL]

Omar, but what about the tattoo picture??? Weren't you supposed to frame that too?? (or have you added it to your 'personal' collection?)

[B. Newman]

Originally posted by RHODY:
Wow - very nice!

You should consider mass producing them. You'd probably make a million dollars on EBAY with such a novelty item. smile.gif

Mike There you go Tom. The answer to all your problems. This could be the next "pet rock", the next hula hoop! The perfect "profit center". Until the ecomony improves in Salem, sell to the WORLD!!!!!

Bet

[Framerguy]

Wow!! What great ideas!

I knew I could count on my G friends to come up with my next venture. I am going to draw up a business plan, (with Bob's help, eh?), take out a small business loan, and get a seller's account on eBay!

I will also try to find an appropriate domain name for my new website to market these little beauties. Maybe we should have a contest to find the best domain name for my website. (That's good for another thread. I think my quarter has about run out on this one.)

I need a business manager to help with the national contacts, guest appearances to promote my product, possibly an informercial like Chef Tony's Miracle Knife spot to help market my new product.

And the name of the product will be .................... Heck, I don't have a clue!! :eek:

Maybe Framerguy's Ultimate Implant Pillow or Tom's Secret Rest Enhancer, that sounds mysterious, doesn't it??

Man, I am PUMPED now!! And, if this goes BIG, don't you know that I will always have a quiet place to come to and relax, spend some time with my friends who gave me this wonderful start, and maybe **** off Marc or somebody else with my straight forward both barrels approach to Grumble problems. Yes, this will always be my quiet retreat, here on the G.

Now, to get to work on that business plan!

Framerguy

[RozR]

OH - MY - GOD! That is so funny. I have gone thru half a box of kleenex laughing/crying!! It was before I read Barb P's comparison to Salmon mousse that I was thinking the same thing - but then I remembered a birthday cake that was presented to a friend when I lived in L.A. - very similar and I won't tell you what HE did to his cake.... hmmmmm....

I don't know if the mass market is ready for this - but, hey - I think you need to give it a go...

Roz

[ERIC]

Great job Framerguy! I’d have to say that the image of your work is firmly implanted in my memory.

Here’s an idea – how many Hooters are there in this world? Think about one of your framed pieces in every one of them? Speaking of food chains, maybe Nathan’s Famous would be interested. My first impression was of a ‘pop-up hotdog dispenser with an automatic mustard applicator’.

Regardless, I think the potential is huge. Be sure to share the business plan in the Business Issue Forum. You have piqued my interest.

[ERIC]

Is it just me . . . . but when I think about this thread and then see the look on my avatars face . . . it just makes me laugh?!?

[Jim Miller]

Framerguy:

If you submit this project to PFM, Decor, and FBN as a "Frame of the Century" contender, you'll probably get immediate, emphatic responses.

Be sure to submit the big picture, along with a detailed description of not only your design process, but also your execution (read: killing) of the job.

Still haven't heard from the customer's lawyer?

[Framerguy]

Originally posted by ERIC:
Is it just me . . . . but when I think about this thread and then see the look on my avatars face . . . it just makes me laugh?!? By golly, Eric, I think you have something there!!

It almost looks like that little one just woke up from a restful nap on one of the Framerguy's Ultimate Implant Pillows^TM,©, <font size=1>(patent pending)</font>!!

I may want a written release from you at a later time if my business manager decides to use your avatar in our advertising campaign. (It could&nbsp mean a product endorsement and a free sample!)

FGII

[JudyN]

Here in Montana ( land of many many of mountians ) We calls them TWIN PEAKS ^^ :D

[lyoncat]

Mahhvelous Darrrlinnng! I loaughed so hard at this whole thread. Made my hubby come right over and read it. Just plain funny.
Does this graemlin remind you of anything??
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[ERIC]

(It could mean a product endorsement and a free sample!)
Barter is a good thing! :D

[jvandy57]

As Curly and other Boobologists around the world know; Implants don't lay flat they alway's look like that. Framerguy has captured the esscence of the CUP Cake.

[Emibub]

Originally posted by jvandy57:
As Curly and other Boobologists around the world know; Implants don't lay flat they alway's look like that. Framerguy has captured the esscence of the CUP Cake. Oh my goodness, I owe a big apology to the Framerguy............this whole time I was thinking natural, and totally forgot these were "implants". Of course they wouldn't lay natural. Sorry Tom. Yours is a unique idea to be sure. I am sure this will jettison you to the top of the heap. When it comes time to do your infommercial please consider me for the part of the "amazed" sidekick as I have a real ability to act interested. Since I was an original naysayer I probably have burnt a bridge or two here but maybe you could also consider me as part of your business team, I will fax over a resume immediately. I missed out on all the dot coms and beanie babies, I sure as heck don't want to miss out on this.

Signed,
Bitter and 48

[Barb Pelton]

Originally posted by EllenAtHowards:
"nothin' rhymes with "crocheting".
Ricocheting, displaying, belaying, betraying,delaying(or if you wanna go 'country music'.. mating, trading, saying (one of my biigest gripes against country music is its use of not-pure rhymes...sigh)

Haha! Obviously I was just toooo distracted to think that one through clearly! Hey Ellen, you gave me an idea!

"Knittin and fittin',
displayin' the crochetin'..."

Might sound pretty good in a country theme song for the new web site...Or maybe rappin' with a Southern drawl to attract that hipper, consumer-esque, yet nostalgic for granny-inspired design crowd! Ooo, we might have to move this on over to the warped section to let the pros work out a proper lyric. This project just might take over the G entirely!

[Mike Labbe @ GTP]

I will also try to find an appropriate domain name for my new website to market these little beauties. Maybe we should have a contest to find the best domain name for my website. www.bigknitties.com (http://www.bigknitties.com)

www.crotchetrack.com (http://www.crotchetrack.com)

Maybe this belongs on Warped smile.gif

[Curly Grumble]

Dear Tom,

In response to your last email, Yes I think that you will be the "King of Boobs" when your new product hits the stores. I've given some thought to your pricing and marketing <strike>schemes</strike> concepts and to start, I really think that you need to keep the price under $100.00, NOT $1,000.00 as you stated. If you price it like you said at $999.99, No one will be "fooled" thinking that they are getting it for $99.99. Besides the people living in Kentucky, the American public just isn't that stupid. It's a great product but not THAT hypnotic! I do like the idea of selling them from kiosks in front of every Victoria's Secret shop. Add to that "Fredericks of Hollywood" and you'll be on your way. I think that eventually every ladies department in every major department store will have an adjacent booth selling them. They'll be bigger than the "Billy Bass" craze of a few years ago. I remember how much money you made on that invention http://ebay3.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/_EBAY_5a5a93ca4d7bd9b3cbdc65b0dbe2d5f1/i-1.JPG. Eventually every home in North America (Yes, even the Canadians) will have at least one. I do think we will have to price them in Mexican pesos for the Mexican market and Canadian pesos for the Canadian market. I guess we can ask someone what the current exchange rate is.
In conclusion, I accept your invitaion to join your new company as "Senior Vice-Boob of Marketing" at the salary of "$1.00 per pair sold" as you stated earlier.
I look forward to working with you on this uplifting and important product.

Sincerely,

Curly Grumble

[Marc Lizer]

It may already be an actual product:

www.titpillow.co.uk (http://www.titpillows.co.uk/orderpage.html)

[Terry Scidmore CPF]

There once was a framer from Salem
Who attempted to reign in pure mayhem
He knitted and fitted
till the "orbs" were committed
and he found a way to belay them!

[interior motives]

Originally posted by Marc Lizer:
It may already be an actual product:

www.titpillow.co.uk (http://www.titpillows.co.uk/orderpage.html) So, while opportunity was knocking, the knockers were knocked off!!

<font size=1> Someone had to say it...or, maybe they didn't....</font size=1> ;)